Deodorant Dive

This morning, Smith was in the tub while I was at the sink getting ready for work. We were engaged in our normal morning banter when I began to put on my deodorant.

"What that does?" Smith blurted, pointing to my armpit. "What does that do." I said, paternally. "What that DOOOO????" "Well," I explained, "It makes it so I'm not stinky." Smith was immediately overcome with ecstasy. "I wanna try it!" I couldn't think of a reason why he shouldn't, so I passed him the deodorant.

Smith reached out and grabbed the deodorant. But instead of directing the deodorant to his armpit, as he had just observed me do, the deodorant changed course to a downward angle, and plunged into the bath water. Exactly what transpired at that point is somewhat unclear. Bath water, you see, becomes milky after bodies have been washed in it. What I can tell you is that my deodorant was aimed in the general direction of Smith's rear end, and that Smith contorted his body into a position reminiscent of a break dancer. There, the deodorant remained for enough time for Smith to apply the deodorant, in generous proportions, to his bum (or so I suppose).

Finished, Smith handed me the deodorant, which was now not only water-logged, but contaminated. The expression on my face must have begged for an explanation, because he surprisingly gave me one: "I just tooted."